Humpty-Dumped

The conversation went around like the two pizzas on the table, from strategies for survival under a monarchy to the day of the dead, pass the prosecco, while in my head I drifted to the image of a golem, made from debris and clay to the 1955 song, People say a man is made out of mud / A poor man’s made out of muscle and blood and from there I went to the new Frankenstein movie…was he not a golem, first a protector then turned monstrous like some countries, pass the pepperoni, roaming the heartland written by eighteen-year-old Mary Shelley, fearing machines gone wild, made by us yet no longer of us, like AI, fed by humans to rock and roll like the pizza that ate Chicago or was it a tomato escaped from a BLT when this Frank/Golem/ Grokenstein rolls over the ballroom where the wing once stood adding to the carnage of our times mixed with the mushrooms of mother earth and the dead mingled with the undead hallowed to trick us to treat the stuffed hollow man, on the night of golden golem toilet seats (not on the menu), to Tuesday’s gathering in the piazzas where we owe our souls to the company store while billions turn to trills, bubbles famously burst and all the king’s horses couldn’t put Humpty’s heritage together again.

 

Remarkable

We are the hero of our own lives or, at least, the leading actor. It’s our movie and come to think of it, we might also be part anti-hero, fool or victim along the way.

I have never thought of myself as remarkable. To prove it, I googled my name and saw that I barely exist. Other remarkable men with my name take up the first six pages.

I imagine each Norm Levine regards himself as the name brand and all the others as generic equivalents. That would be defined as mentally healthy. 

Remarkable is a remarkable word. Whether I am remarkable is something I leave for others to remark upon. The word itself is really neutral. 

What I know for sure is that life itself is spectacular, miraculous and astonishing. This time granted us is to be revered. The older I get, the word grateful takes on more meaning. And to live with gratitude is to caretake this ecosystem and each other. 

Even while witnessing the wreckage of our once civil society I still celebrate my good fortune not only for this accident of geography that deposited me here and not there, but also for having lived my life being fully met in loving relationships. Love, that is, in its many permutations.

I've now reached the age when that adjective, remarkable, has flipped. After seven test tubes of blood, my lab results have come back and my doctor makes the sweetest pronouncement: unremarkable, a state devoutly to be wished for.

I am in awe of creative people who have widened our perceptions and shared their achievement. At the same time some of us tend to an interior landscape with nurturing and small wisdoms that further contribute to our evolution and do so unnoticed. Both are the measure of our humanity. We are all remarkable.                                   

World Serious

 Even as Western Civilization is burning, Nero and I are fiddling with our respective sports of the day. At least we have progressed from lions and gladiators to men in colored pajamas swatting flying objects with wooden sticks.

Baseball awaits. The World Series nudges the World Seriously for my attention. The outrage and wreckage of breaking news will yield to the poetry, drama and timelessness which baseball offers. It has been my alternative universe since my father took me to my first game at Ebbets Field in Brooklyn in 1939. 

I'll be there taking my position on the couch wearing my game face. No fangs, but I may cheer and jeer sufficient to sublimate my hostility. Fandom is an inexplicable state. Belief in the primacy of the real world is suspended. Childhood is reenacted. It is theater. It is the restoration of law and order. It is civility. It is life.

At 162 games, the regular season is far too long. The postseason adds another dozen or more. Players are hurting and tired. Yet they are also juiced. Heroes will emerge extending the reach of the human body, but none are likely to display the arrogance of their act nor any vilification of the opponent as we see from the President. 

Baseball is a game of failure. It is a humbling experience. After an overdose of audacity, we welcome those moments of humility. 

The outcome of the World Series will change nothing on planet earth. Glaciers will continue to melt while ICE will remain cold and heartless. Perhaps people will note how rules prevail inside the stadium as opposed to the lawlessness of the real world.

This page was written while watching the game. The pace of the game allows for thoughts to compose themselves. Baseball halts the clock and that alone is worth the price of admission.

Kindred Faces

To say that Trump is indulging in a bit of overreach is like saying that Moby Dick was a large hunk of gefilte fish. In fact, we are witnessing nothing less than a coup, the systematic overthrow of our constitutional democracy. 

His nine months in office is a pregnancy which has birthed a newborn monarchy, complete with babbling incoherence and diaper pins stuck in vital organs of the body politic.  

Trump dominates the news cycle with daily tantrums and bullying edicts. It is as if he is throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what sticks. The country is covered with toxic ragu which has metastasized to the point where many people are inured to the daily outrage and lethal consequences.

We mock him with inflatables, and he mocks the population with infantile contempt. A normal person might pause and weigh the discontent. Instead, he issues a video of himself dumping excrement over the nation; a Trumpian version of let them eat cake.

Seven to eight million protesters spread out over a thousand cities and towns showed up for this second No Kings Day. The anger on faces seemed to be subsumed by the joy of camaraderie. If the art and poetry of signs fell on deaf ears in the White House, the sheer numbers could not be ignored. 

I would like to know how many in those numbers voted for Trump. How many minds have been changed during the past nine months? How many elected MAGA legislators and jurists have taken notice? And what will it take to grow a spine on Senate and House members before they become fearful of losing their seat in the next election, rigged as it may be? 

Word has it that twelve million is the number to reach critical mass which would move the needle. That represents 3.5% of our population and shall be the goal for future demonstrations.

In the meantime, I play a dirge on my keyboard. Funereal words interrupted by sprouts and glimmers from millions of kindred faces radiated with hope. 

 

The Bridge

The brink, the verge, the plunge

jumping into the deep, the unknown

opening scene for dozens of movies

(Final Destination, Cliffhanger)

usually saved by a bystander,

maybe waiting for an intervention

(Last Train To Lisbon)

maybe not…man leaped from Golden Gate

(Gone In Sixty Seconds)

changed his mind on the way down

then saved by a sea lion. 

(Kevin Hines, five years ago)

The shore is also a bridge, a border,

between this water, this dry land

an edged place of ultimates   

where the Red Sea parted, 

or the troubled West Bank

the shores of Longfellow's Gitchigumee 

we all come to the shore

not just finally but many times

to cross our Rubicon, get ferried 

or else find the pebble at our feet

polished to jewel

like that tree planted by the water

we shall not be moved 

across this moment of great divide

where even Hiroshige's is a bridge too far.

23 Skidoo

One of those phrases common in my early years which meant, better get the hell out of here.... and it did. The expression died and no one seems to have missed it. Its provenance leads me down to many forks.

One path goes to the notion that skidoo is shorthand for  skedaddle which was a term used in the Civil War meaning retreat with haste. Another tale is that the wind currents cause a swirl around the Flatiron Building on 23rd St. in Manhattan causing one to flee. And then there is the claim that racetracks had room for only 22 horses at the starting gate so the 23rd horse had to skidoo from its position in the 2nd row.

When I hear 23rd my mind jumps to the 23rd psalm. From there I wonder about that strange Wordle word, psalm. 

In ancient times it used to be a verb, to pluck as a stringed instrument. A psalm became any song sung to the strings of a harp. If we listen, a certain music can be heard, a rhythm, a pulse to defeat the noise out of which we can create a psalm of our own.

The keyboard is my harp. Words are lyrics cocooned as I am in my imagined green pasture beyond the fray, while preparing a table for distant enemies who have trespassed on the fellowship I have always known, when we once shepherd each other.

We have become a nation in the valley of shadows, skedaddled, turbulent and polarized. Can we turn that word to pole us across the river?

Another well-traveled word is rival which came from river. Originally it meant a person using the same stream as their neighbor and the river was a shared resource. Sadly, the meaning flipped from communal to competitive and the parties became rivals.

The tracing of words foretells the chronicle of man, at least in this 23 skidoo society into which we have devolved. Sit down, rival, have a piece of fruit. May breaking news be the bread between us. Let our rod and staff lead us to still water, cups running over. 

 

Coping

When I’m not gnashing my teeth, I’m girding my loins. Just like you. I’m done bashing the guy. To say his ignorance is only overshadowed by his arrogance only serves to vent my spleen. The case has long since been made and reinforced daily. Yet no instance of stupidity or sadism is enough to rouse his slumbering constituency.

The nagging question is how to cope. I had my turn at the barricades. Resistance at my age precludes marches and rallies. The human potential that has been deported, defunded or suppressed has to be met with acts of the imagination and soulful relationships supporting each other. 

Much can happen over poke bowls or falafel wraps. Kinship is always on the menu.  

The moral violence in words and deeds which seems to accompany breaking news, must be answered with a surge of music, art, dance or poetry. I would also include simple kindness and civil discourse as a creative moment. Our descent into depravity requires nothing less, though everyone will write their own prescription.

The values once regarded as givens in our former democracy are not only under assault but have been replaced by lawlessness, greed and a wanton disregard for human suffering.

So we reach for even small acts of transcendence. Brush on canvas, fingers on the keyboard, communing with nature, sounds from Brahms to Coltrane, transport from artistry on stage or screen; anything which offers a lift serves to restore what has been lost or under siege.

Why just last night......

Words

It’s all true. Every word I've written has been plagiarized ... from the dictionary. I have only rearranged their order. These days, dictionaries have gone the way of encyclopedias and the thesaurus. Even spell check will soon be a relic, to be replaced by the dreaded AI. The world doesn’t hold still for a minute.

Words come and go faster than the last great idea I had. Some are on life support while others are screaming their first breath in the maternity ward.

The sentinels at the gate can’t agree on what to include. The Cambridge Dictionary added over 6,000 new words this year while Merriam-Webster allowed a mere 370. I think the lexicographers ought to have a softball game and settle the matter or shout each other under the table.

Words are wondrous things. I can’t say enough about them. A few squiggles on the page or on the lips can be life-changing. The marriage vow: I do or Hell, no, I won't go.  

There was a time when the well-turned phrase would get you re-invited to the next dinner party. Ask Henry James. I doubt if he ever ate at home.

Up until WWI, speechifying was conflated with intellect. During that crime against humanity, soldiers lost limbs and long-winded phrases died in the trenches. A generation was lost along with polysyllabic words; staccato jazz translated to clipped sentences. 

Concision entered poetry. Literature became stripped of frippery the same way the Bauhaus School brought unornamented Modernism to architecture. The old standard of florid sentences in which the subject was separated from the predicate by pages of commas and semicolons was no longer considered a thing of beauty.

Even if Faulkner didn't get the memo, Hemingway made brevity the new standard. It doesn’t get any shorter than his short story: Baby shoes for sale; never used.

When did minimalism become such a virtue? Are we a lazy people or just in a hurry on our way to nowhere? Is this payback for long-winded bloviating; those orators in the halls of Congress or men of the cloth intoning everything God has to say?

Now the pendulum has swung and some fine words are hanging by their thumbs. LOL. The internet has us writing in fluent acronyms. IMHO, this is a small step for man and a giant step on the wrong road for mankind. We may end up conversing in shrugs, nods and grunts.

On the other hand, nothing is more democratic than language. Each word is an agreed-upon utterance rising organically by popular consent. Words morph from other words and also die from exhaustion. Awe used to be my religion. Now it has become limp from overuse; an awesome shame. 

Brevity has shortened our perceptual span. Linguists believe that language precedes thought. Fewer words limit ideas. A broad vocabulary trains the mind to think in more nuanced ways. In less than a year our native tongue has been demeaned by simplistic terms and name-calling. Deceit leads to debasement. 

T.S. Eliot described poetry as a raid on the inarticulate. We are all poets and we struggle to capture those feelings for which words fail us. Let us find ways to express our vehemence against this tide, even as we revivify language to support and find soulful connections with one another.

Autumn Barely

The calendar says fall has begun. Indeed much has fallen but not the foliage yet. Harvest may have begun elsewhere along with swollen gourds. The only seeds I have sown yielded my three wonderful daughters. still in the summer of their lives. 

I know the season has turned over only because Trader Joe's has gone orange with all things pumpkin, from soup to nuts and more importantly, long-awaited ice cream. 

As for nature, autumn arrives noiselessly on its own slow clock. Unlike the maples and sycamores of Vermont whose rust and ruddy leaves die like divas ablaze in a golden deathbed scene, ours just get drained of chlorophyll, curl up and drop, then become fish and swim away in the great cycle. However we are still far from skeletal boughs.

I doubt if my demise will be operatic. Some might say: I thought he died years ago. In fact, maybe I did and it slipped my mind in which case this has been an afterlife beyond my expectations. In the meantime, I feel evergreen, still filled with pluck and spunk. My branches may be bent but are not quite brittle and most names etched in my bark are still retrievable.

In order for it to be autumn, I have to be in the mind of autumn. Here in the Southland, summer has a long lease. We still have days in the eighties even as we may yearn for a change of palette from green to burnt sienna. So we have to create markers that signify the season.

One such is the weekend football games which continue to infantilize me now and then or, at least, keep the child in me alive. Passion for my team has a short duration and is inexplicable, which is probably why I can't give it up. The outcome changes nothing. I have a penchant for some things that resist the rational. 

Football also brings its own weather. It's a way of feeling the brisk air. Put the kettle on. We need our small pleasures to keep the wolf from the door. If, as Emily Dickinson wrote, hope is a thing with feathers, there is a mourning dove nesting outside my window. 

I shall take this as a portent of change. Godlessness works in mysterious ways.

Invasions

In September 1939 Hitler invaded Poland, the opening salvo of WWII which ended up killing 85 million people. Putin invaded Ukraine in Feb. 2022. 

Over the past nine months The United States has invaded itself. We are no longer the country I once knew, having traded golden knick-knacks for the Golden Rule. We used to be the land upon which God shed his grace and crowned thy good with brotherhood. Grace and brotherhood have been replaced with avarice and vengeance.

Louis the 14^th said: L’etat c’est moi, I am the state. This is the most succinct statement proclaiming the absolute right of kings. We are well on our way in our descent to monarchical rule.

Invasions are seldom contributions to mankind. However, there are exceptions. Almost one thousand years ago a French contingent from Normandy crossed the channel and defeated the English at the Battle of Hastings. It might be regarded as a food fight in which French toast bested English muffins, and the result was eggs benedict. Besides their French cooking and new-fangled weaponry, they introduced their Latinate-Romance language, forever softening the English tongue. And the Norman Conquest bequeathed me my name.

To stretch a point, another instance of a good invasion was the introduction of cowpox to treat smallpox. Edward Jenner is credited with this first vaccine. The word itself is derived from the Latin, vacca, meaning cow. In fact, the notion first came from West Africa where the disease was managed by allowing small amounts of live virus to colonize healthy people and stimulate the immune system to create antibodies. Indeed, smallpox is the first human disease to have been completely eradicated.

Thanks to vaccines, we have virtually eliminated polio, mumps, measles, whooping cough, diphtheria, tetanus, chickenpox, rubella, and hepatitis. Dictators tend to disparage science because it is based on independent thought and critical thinking. Evidence-based inquiry is deemed a threat while junk science and conspiracy theories are encouraged.

It is therefore not coincidental that our new regime has aligned itself with the anti-vaccine movement. Ultimately, the death toll from this senseless alliance can rival the aforementioned wars.

Rounds and Squares and Flakes

Consider the snowflake, each unique as a QR code, given all the possibilities for crystalline formations. Better yet, let’s talk about cornflakes, equally un-replicable. If a cornflake were an island, as it is in a bowl of milk, it would show one deep harbor after another. No perpendiculars. You have to admire it for that. It’s as jagged as the right-hand margin of a contemporary poem, asserting its sui generis voice.

I am gazing into my bowl looking for the meaning of life. It’s as likely here as in the cottage cheese ceiling or the book I just found on my shelf,  written by some guru in a loincloth and scrupulously unread. Some flakes resist sogginess almost successfully, others succumb to milk from cows or almonds.

Where are you going with all this? I don’t know but I’ll think of something.

Truth be told I left cornflakes behind along with Wheaties many bananas ago.  Now, I’m a Catalina Crunch and blueberry sort of guy. But those old orange, rectangular boxes deserve a special place in my thrill-a-minute-life. Wheaties were probably my first newspaper as I spooned and read about their designated heroes. For a street urchin as I was, the athletes on the box became my brief idols. There was a certain magic in those words. I was becoming knowledgeable about something my parents knew not. These days the only thing I read on the box is the carbohydrate and fiber content. 

To stretch a point, American history took an unfortunate turn when, in 1937, Ronald Reagan became a celebrity at least in Iowa when he won the Breakfast of Champions award for best broadcaster of baseball games sponsored by…you guessed it, Wheaties. From there it was a short step into the Oval Office. Presumably, he was gobbling Wheaties in Hollywood, and as Governor of California and then, and then. Of such stuff B-movies are made. Is this a great country or what?

Now it’s time to talk about how cereal boxes are stored in the pantry. My stepdaughter used to alternate her three cereals, flakes, rounds and squares on consecutive days of the week. If it’s Wednesday it must be Cheerios. This became Christie’s way of ordering through the small anarchies of life.

Friend Fred arranged all his cans alphabetically. As he tells it this was done in case he wakes up suddenly blind, he could grab the tuna fish and know it isn’t salmon. I call it the Artie Shaw Syndrome. The clarinet playing band leader and leader also of obsessive compulsives, insisted all pillowcases face the same direction. Eight marriages later he wrote about it. 

Fred can’t play Begin the Beguine but has other endearing qualities. He was miffed when his daughter and son scrambled his pantry as a prank. They even switched the Hi-Lo Flakes with Bran Buds. 

He was confronted with the chaos of life. But he recovered in time to email them that he was sitting at his desk with his will and an eraser. Humor is the best revenge. As for the turmoil of existence I have no urgent need to tidy it up. Earth is round, borders square and life is irregularly flaky.

Yes, I know, sophisticated people scoff at cereal. A few cups of coffee rev their motor. Call it my arrested development. But my morning bowl has gotten me this far. Every day snaps, crackles and pops, in no particular order.

Odysseus and His Odyssey

The new movie called The Return begins at the end of Odysseus’ twenty-year travail. Ralph Fiennes is washed ashore on Ithaca, haggard looking but ever resourceful and muscular, while Juliette Binoche is no less cunning as she ravels and unravels the fruit of her loom. The scenes of them together are well-worth the ordeal of watching the rest of the film with its gratuitous violence.

Constantine Cavafy's poem Ithaca calls into question, is it the  destination or the journey. The promised land may be illusory. We strive for some ultimate sense of returning home, which ain’t what it used to be. As Thomas Wolfe put it, You Can’t Go Home Again. Yet we all have our Ithaca.

The illusion has been paved over or seen now with new eyes. In baseball one travels around the diamond to reach home plate in a cloud of dust. Is he safe or out? Only the imp-ump-god knows. What’s a Homer for?

Was Odysseus safe? Not until he emptied his quiver of arrows into the eager hearts of Penelope’s suitors. On full display is our hero’s devious ways, hubris here, self-possession there, lust and fidelity in his many turnings. 

Why do we still read the Odyssey today? Maybe to see the soft clay we are made of. Odysseus is a model of Western man, blemished as he is, and his multitudes within; the entire aggregate of men in all their passions and follies. 

In the Odyssey he is alternately punished by Poseidon and saved by Athena. Yet he emerges as man, alone, without providential intervention. He is without a moral compass, a cork on the waves given to expediency without any ideology other than survival. There are no moral imperatives to guide him. No sense of the greater good nor any ethical standards other than looking out for number one.

He returns to Penelope because he needs the feminine principle to make himself whole. Warriors require the other to recover their humanity. Eros is the creative life force. Will the patriarchy ever learn?

Few of us reclaim the throne unless self-actualization can be seen as royalty. I would say it is. And that sense of a life well-lived comes from the journey itself. What greater adventure than this wild span of years full of stumbles, detours, overhead light bulbs, being fully met and with moments of reverence for the all of it.   

A Funny Thing Happened On My Way To Oblivion

Aside from Facebook, I have a list of 65 friends to whom I send my blogs. Google, in their infinite reach, tells me how many click on the link I provide.

I’ve been posting about two each week for sixteen years. On average, about 25-40 open and presumably read my ramblings. All of a sudden, starting about two weeks ago, I am being read by over twice the number on my recipient list.

Welcome, I think but who are you? I don’t know whether to be flattered or frightened. Imagine having 65 of your closest friends over and 150 crash the party. Food for thought is soon gone. Some of these strangers may even be wearing masks. 

Is that you, Igor? How’s the weather in Kazakhstan? Or are you stuck in some subterranean boiler room in an abandoned warehouse? Worst case scenario, I’m being scrutinized by recently-released thugs 3 floors under the White House. Maybe ICE is checking to see if my grandfather arrived at Ellis Island with an undocumented Kaiser roll.

Or could my new-found set of eyes be an array of Musk-made bots? There are no buts about a bout with a bot. One would think AI has better use of their time than scrutinizing the squiggles of an iconoclast in his 93rd year. Why bother? Soon, I shall wither away from natural causes anyway, unless I find myself first having lunch with a suicide bomber.

True enough, I've been vehement over the forensics leading to the demise of America. I had expected to go out hearing about the land that I love... through the night with a light from above and not a requiem for a country, disappeared. The wars which I thought were won against human bondage and fascism, seem now to have both been lost. 

I will try to ignore that uninvited goon-bot leaning against a lamppost across from my window at midnight, whether he exists or not. Instead, I'll gaze at the apostrophe of a moon, possessed of all the wonder over which it presides. 

After further research, Google tells me I have readers in China and Hong Kong. Next time, I’d better read the fortune cookie for a coded message. It's only fair, if I show them mine, they should show me theirs. I never give up hope that Lao-Tzu will turn up.

Instead, I usually get some version of, Have a nice day. Indeed, I shall, with gratitude for this lucky life, and moments still pulsing from every one of my ninety plus years, from column A and column B, the sweet, the sour and spicy of it all.        

Word of the Year

My vote goes to performative.  Of course, spoken words are different from written words and this is one I’ve never uttered but it keeps popping up in print or from the mouths of talking heads.

Gaslighting had its run and now feels sort of stale. I expect performative to have the same fate. On the other hand, as long as Trump reigns, the word fits.

When Donald first appeared on the political stage, he had already gained his chops on reality T.V. Since then, we have witnessed the transformation of politics into show business; lethal show biz at that. Now, only about a third of the country is laughing. Call it theater of audacity and mendacity. Call it performative.

He knows how to get his name on the marque. Bless him, as on Fox News, ridicule him or curse him as we do in my circle of friends, but it isn’t possible to ignore him.

Whether his antics, part ignorance and part arrogance, can be dismissed as a mere performance is no longer relevant. He may be playing the court jester but he is also the man on the throne. And each reckless and mindless edict has historic consequences wrecking countless lives.     

When he staged an illegal political photo op at Arlington cemetery that was performative but relatively harmless. Renaming the Gulf of Mexico and now the Defense Dept. is also designed partially as performance. When he set up a camera crew to show him kissing the flag or the Bible that was also performance art, but his behavior goes much further than that. 

His announcement which threatened Greenland's sovereignty is both spectacle and a blatant violation of law. The destruction of a vessel and crew in international waters because it might be heading here and it might be carrying drug smugglers is also performative, but deadly. 

With a wink toward his MAGA minions he parades weaponry and paves over roses. To borrow from G&S Pinafore, He is the monarch of the realm / born to overwhelm / And ply his power as the office grants / And so do his children and his sycophants.

Historians will describe him as a narcissistic misogynist with arrested development, void of empathy and any discernible ethos, They will have to add performative to that list of adjectives. 

Truth Be Told

The answer is Montenegro or Bobby Riggs or Gloria Graham. These days lunch could not be complete without looking up some piece of trivia on our smart phone. It leaves no question unanswered except, perhaps, for the meaning of life, what are we doing here and what just went wrong with our country. If we can’t deal with the overwhelming questions at least we placate our brains with the small stuff.

As was recently pointed out by Ken Jennings, the M.C. of the quiz show Jeopardy, facts are more than trivia. In fact, trivia is more than trivial. The word goes back seven centuries when it referred to three essentials of a liberal arts education, rhetoric, logic and grammar. A massive dose of each is achingly needed in our citadels of power.

In this age of mendacity, conspiracy and gullibility, facts have been relegated to versions of truth on one channel, twisted on another and ignored by most. Objective truth went out with landlines and dictionaries. However a lie does not become true by repetition. 

I doubt if any of our ancestors had as much knowledge crammed into their grey matter as we do. Our heads are stuffed with gigabytes (whatever that means) of facts. Too bad knowledge doesn’t translate into wisdom. 

Was it Plato or Yogi Berra who said, knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in fruit salad. Actually, it was Miles Kington who deserves attribution. He also said that a pessimist sees a glass as half empty. An optimist is the guy who drinks what’s there’s and orders another. I know all this because I just looked it up…but at least I waited till I came home.

The fact of the matter is that while, botanically speaking, tomatoes are seeded plants and therefore fruits, the Supreme Court, in 1893, ruled that they shall be designated as a vegetable and taxed accordingly as a veggie import.

Knowledge has a shelf life. Wisdom is more like what we know but cannot quite articulate. Wisdom is likely to be an interrogation. Why and how rather than who or when. Possibly what happened when we didn’t notice. The ineffable. An instance of congruence in the discord. A pattern seen from a distant perch.

Knowledge has its place. It is one step ahead of info, data and nomenclature. If they opened me up, out would come pouring a compendium of pharmaceutical terms, a dictionary of words and an encyclopedia of political events, a smattering of history & geography, a gaggle of ballplayers, movies, actors, big-band leaders and a libretto or two from Gilbert and Sullivan. The stuff that might get me on Jeopardy.     

It may be that wisdom comes in two sizes. The great wisdom said to be found at the foot of the Himalayas or the fleeting variety at the bottom of your oatmeal bowl. When the Zen novice arrives at the monastery seeking answers he is told to wash his bowl. The floating world is that which eludes Google over lunch but may be accessible to the dishwasher in his reverie. 

In simplicity and silence, one learns to listen for the wisdom which lies within, sort of like knowing what it takes not to add tomato (or ketchup) to the fruit salad.

Just a couple of decades ago we might have gathered for lunch and have a conversation over Chinese chicken salad without needing to know what country in Europe has the second tallest men (Montenegro). We might have left the table just wondering. Where has all the wonder gone?

Migrations

In epochal terms, the history of our planet is marked by migrations. From whales and butterflies to humans. Out of Africa to the Eurasian land mass, Mongol tribes emigrated to Europe and Europeans colonized the Americas, displacing the tens of millions of indigenous people who had made their way here from Asia.  

We, Caucasians of European ancestry, are illegal immigrants. We were not invited by the American Indians. We are the men and women who came to dinner, killed our hosts and never left. Now we declare ourselves landlords, lording over this land called the United States.

This land was made for you and me and us and them; the ribbons of highways and amber waves of grain. Through slave labor, European squabbles, war crimes, famines, pogroms and opportunity we forged a nation of immigrants and now we desecrate Emma Lazarus’ poem on the Statue in New York harbor and slam the door shut on the huddled masses yearning.

The soul of this country aches with blues and celebrates in jazz. Its mythos was seeded by Hollywood and its Jewish moguls and the American Songbook was composed by first generation immigrants from Eastern Europe. The Chinese built our railroads and Irish forged our labor unions. Every poetic leap, financial risk, strive and stumble is attributable to children of immigrants.

One might wonder why Central America has always been our impoverished neighbors. President Monroe declared it our protectorate 202 years ago. The years since have been marked by U.S. rapacious corporations, maldistribution of land with puppet governments propped up by U.S. agencies. And now their people flee. No surprise.

I believe our resistance to migrants is a last gasp against mass migrations in decades to come. I won’t be here to witness millions from equatorial regions moving toward the poles as the planet heats up. Large areas will become inarable and uninhabitable. Perhaps Greenland will become green.

Through heedless exploitation, avarice, neglect and denial, world powers are rendering our orb unsustainable for human habitation. Maybe, just maybe, one day we will see ourselves as brothers and sisters, guardians and gardeners of the planet. And maybe one day my pixie dust will be on the wing of some migratory bird looking down on land without borders. Or maybe not.

 

Out Of Vilna (from 2019)

Thanks to my middle daughter, Lauren, we have discovered the soil of our family tree. Going back four generations our roots belong in Lithuania….at least on one side. Lauren is our chronicler and noticer. While others ask what, she with her wide eyes, asks when and where.

She is the one who spots the incongruous hat or shoe in the canvas be it a scene in a movie or a photo album. She has always been able to identify the year and location of an image by what the apparel doth oft proclaim.

A sense of antecedents drives her questioning. I share that curiosity but on a more macro plane. Lauren sniffs out details, the animating particulars in order to create a soulful presence. She reminds me of all the questions I never asked.

In her seventeenth year Lauren left regular high school to finish in an independent studies program on her own. After two months she took and passed an equivalency exam which gave her a diploma. That spirit of self-discovery has never left. She answers to her own interrogating voice searching for beginnings. That wondering and wandering began her Out of Vilna moment.

My grandfather, Morris, made his way out of Vilna in his seventeenth year also. His journey brought him to the lower east side of Manhattan in 1887. It was a difficult decision and it was also an easy decision. Tough to leave family and friends behind along with the teeming cultural and literary scene in Vilna which was the Paris of that region. The Jewish population of the city reached 40%. Yet it was also a city under siege by Poles, Belarussians and Prussians. Pogroms ate away at the outskirts. Conscription was the fate of young men. I imagine young Morris hiding in a cellar from a band of drunken, mustachioed Cossacks. Perhaps he was concealed under a large stack of potatoes and he found his transit on one of their shoots.

He was part of a mass migration from Eastern Europe to Hamburg to New York harbor. Was he by himself? We don’t know yet. But I’m sure he traveled in steerage coming up on deck to pass that newly installed Statue of Liberty, then on to Ellis Island and from there to a tenement on a street of pushcarts. In 1891 he met Yetta and the tree was watered.

In my seventeenth year I was lost. I might as well have been in Vilna on the wrong road out. I had no idea it was a family tradition. Girls were still a foreign subject. Politics and sports were my strong points. I thought I knew the good guys from the bad guys... in government and on the playing field. I wasn’t altogether wrong but not altogether right either. A year later I chose my profession and four years after that I was married. Not very prudent with either choice……….but then again I wouldn’t have Lauren to learn from if I had embarked on that road not taken.

Did my father have his Out of Vilna intersection? I’ll have to make this up because I forgot to ask. He either didn’t finish or never started high school. Too poor. He sold newspapers on Flatbush Ave. and played the mandolin in a pick-up band, a piece of DNA not passed along to me. He earned loose change cashing in deposit bottles or as a runner dashing from the telephone in the candy store to fetch a neighbor from the 4th floor of a walk-up. He left his Vilna behind when he met my mother who tutored him for the two-year pharmacy college straight through to his license.

Morris, can you hear me? We’re all in your debt. Had you stayed in Vilna none of us would be.

Melville and Imagined Whales

Ahab's pursuit of Moby Dick is the great American allegory. There is no hissing the villain or cheering the hero in the book. Melville (call him Ishmael, the outsider) presents the white whale as demonic and ferocious on one page and noble on the next. In one chapter on whiteness we are reminded that his absence of color sums up the ambiguity of both the pursuer and pursued. Ahab's ill-fated mission is to uncover the ultimate mystery, blinded as he is by the enormous whiteness.

Add to this our contemporary understanding of the oceanic ecosystem and we grow indignant as Melville maligns our cuddly behemoth. Of course, the journey of the Pequod is not to be read literally. The author is after far greater game.

Were the architects of our misadventure in Southeast Asia testosterone-driven men bent on domination? Yes, of course, many were though some were just simple, self-serving fools. Nor can Ahab be captioned only as a crazed monomaniac…though he was. He was a seeker of truth, as well.

Four presidents were complicit in the tragedy of our knuckle-headed misadventure in Vietnam. Their acts were committed in the Cold War context premised on the belief that this Leviathan called Communism would gobble up one country after another and darkness would descend upon civilized life. Instead, they created their own doom. They mistook a small country’s determination to shake off colonial rule, for the Communist dragon. Now, the Hanoi regime is one our favorite trading partners.

Ahab’s mission was revenge for the loss of a limb which Freud regarded as castration but more importantly to pierce the mask of Moby Dick, to destroy that which lies behind the face of so-called evil. His zeal was messianic but the imagined outcome was unattainable just as religious fanatics, with colossal wrongheadedness, obsess over an imagined godhead in whose name all manner of evil is enacted; crusades, inquisitions and virulent hatred of the other. 

Maybe it’s a stretch too far to grant a crazed Dulles, McNamara, Rusk and a bellicose Pentagon similar status as Ahab, of being knights-errant chasing an illusory dragon. In fact they were all part of an apparatus befitting an American empire.

Aside from the war crimes of napalm, defoliants, stacks of body bags and a nation torn asunder the tragedy of Vietnam was our excruciating refusal to come to terms with our role as replacement for European colonialism. When you think you are menaced by this whale called Communism you see whales everywhere and end up supporting every corrupt tyrant on the map who declares himself anti-whale.

It was a dark time in American history lit by some bright songs and burning draft cards and the emergence of a counter-culture. Yet just as Ishmael survived the wreckage on a floating coffin we are carried away in our leaking ship of state, still wounded, still haunted. 

Presidents and potentates require whales to stay in power. All they need to do is convince the ill-informed that they are under siege. If there are perceived barbarians at the gate they are a projection of his own barbarism. We have kept the rapists and felons out so that the rapist and felon can rule. 

Reagan had his 8-day whale of a war with Grenada as if the tiny Caribbean island were a threat to invade our frozen yogurt stores. The Neo-Cons under Bush had their own apparition obsessed with weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. 

Donald has set half the country against itself with the illusion of a diabolical deep state, painting government welfare programs as a monstrous force. 

Imagined whales are essential for tyrants and autocrats. I would argue that Bibi, like Ahab, is a vengeful hunter and his whale is Hamas. With a harpooned mind he has created an invisible demonic force impervious to extinction because it is an ideology which has seethed and festered for decades of humiliation, occupation and subjugation. 

Melville described his book (to Hawthorne) facetiously, as wicked as if he was possessed by witchcraft. In fact, his trespass was to dare go face to face with an imagined supreme being.

Ahab, like many among us, abhors the enormous unseen forces in tumultuous times and seeks simplistic answers. He was driven by a passion to confront the unknown and unlock the mystery. His failure defines existential man. Of course, we cannot know what evil lurks nor achieve perfect enlightenment, only strive to embody the divine or glimpse it as in a brief candle. 

Living / Dying

The coral tree outside my window is thick with green sleeves. The red conical blossoms are gone. They had their six weeks of fame with throats open wide and nectar dripping. Sometime in June they vanished, replaced by poisonous pods. Fortunately, the hummingbirds know when to poke their elongated snouts in for a drink and when to abstain.

At the same time large green leaves have been roused from their slumber, waking into verdant wakefulness. As throughout all life, it’s a matter of, Hello, I must be going. The curtain goes down at the same time as the curtain goes up. I know the feeling.

Like Schrodinger’s cat, alive and dead at once, we are in both the maternity room and intensive care. On a societal level, the death of democracy is much more in evidence than anything nascent. Yet while they are killing us (not so) softly with their song, I’m listening hard for the start of something big.

Meanwhile our planet begs for remedial care. We are losing over one hundred species a day according to some computer models while over 200,000 people join the human race daily. Make room for an additional two billion by 2050.

Schrodinger’s cat was simply part of a thought experiment set out to challenge Einstein (of all people) and demonstrate a fallacy of quantum mechanics. If this or any creature were confined in a box bombarded by electrons or any other lethal substance there is a point where it might be said to be both alive and dead, yet on observation this cannot be true. Beyond this oversimplification I get a brain ache. But the concept fascinates me at least metaphorically.

In the course of an ordinary day, living/dying happens, unremarked upon. Each day we may die a little and the next day, revive a little. I was recently told how, in conversation between two women, one became radiant from within as if being seen for the first time. New life, emergent, is no small thing.

 I take my cue from that tree busy making chlorophyll for green leaves and their day in the sun while those operatic flowers are hitting their high notes of the season with all corpuscles bursting, divas that they are.

Trash Talk

Alerted by the beep of breaking news 

I see his name on a continuous loop

tossing out a litany of puff, 

thanking us for attention to this matter,

the likes of which.. blah, blah

which muddies the muddle

as the green garbage truck,

upon which so much depends,

embraces the blue trash can

with its yellow arms like an enormous hug,

then lifts and dumps the barbed rambles

 into its hydraulic gut,

without any deliberation,

crushing ninety gallons of malice and blather

into a fraction of its thirty-ton cargo

which is why poetry is best as concision,

shucked corn, tops off the carrots,

the distillate, barely adjectival,

as it grinds rancid words into

hard-earned mulch

from which orchards may sprout

or even a thorn of a rose pushing up 

through the floor of his ballroom.

Fools

There was a time when one wondered if he was a clown, a criminal or a psychopath. One such a man was Adolph Hitler. Now we have one among us. Any notion of his being a mere fool was slowly dispelled. For a while the idiocy obscured the menace. His inanities and profanities are now met with impunity. In fact, his simplistic utterances delivered with a ten-year-old vocabulary seem to endear himself all the more to his base. It gives a bad name to fools.

The archetype of the fool has traveled from Greek literature through Shakespeare into the 19th century and beyond. There are simpleton fools and wise fools. In literature they have often been characters who speak truth to power. Kings tolerate jesters, at least up to a point. They are amused by harmless antics. On the other hand, there have been periods when retardation was treated with scorn and worse.

The Bard gave life to fools with Falstaff in Henry IV, to King Lear as well as the motley fool in As You Like It. At times they act out the primitive instincts or the disowned self of their masters. Their wise words can be subversive but allowed in jest. Shakespeare gave them a voice to reveal an aspect otherwise denied the audience. Profundity disguised as comic relief.  

The fool was always the outsider who reframed the situation, offering a new dimension acceptable to the power elite. Mark Twain got invited to sit at the dinner table with robber barons of his day. Morgan, Carnegie, Vanderbilt and Rockefeller took his sarcasm, dealt in the haze of cigar smoke. The Gilded Age was added to our language by Samuel Clemens. Apparently, they welcomed his celebrity along with his wit.  

After WWI, fools found a home in periodicals, movies and then radio. Chaplin, the Little Tramp, poked his cane at millionaire tycoons on behalf of the working class, even though he, himself, was one of the richest men in Hollywood. The Marx Brothers also made their fortune playing audacious fools.

Audiences loved them and nobody more than the millionaire moguls of Hollywood. Never under-estimate the capacity of the power-elite to promote faintly subversive voices as long as they can monetize their presence.  

Dorothy Parker quipped, How could they tell, when President Coolidge died. Mort Saul, Tom Lehrer and George Carlin were far from fools as they jabbed convention along with words of Molly Ivins in print.

Political satire flourished on T.V. up until now. Our current monarch has very thin skin. The man has no decency, no empathy and no sense of humor. Wit directed at the man in the Oval is no longer permissible. It seems that the late night truth-tellers have a short lease from their corporate-owned networks. 

What the Tudor kings allowed has now been muzzled. The fool is dead; long live the fool.

Mystery of the Spheres

In the span of my decades, I’ve lived through the ripening of our sphere as if a round fruit which now, hour by hour, is rotting. Planet Earth reduced to a melon.

Cut open the orb at its peak and you release the sun and the moon, the music of the spheres. Can it be, what seemed like progression was, in fact, cyclic? The straight line, actually bent. The Allies and Axis of 1941, flipped five years later and now the enemy is ourselves. The crystal ball bounces and rolls.

Melons fiercely hold their mystery. I’ve seen buyers at the market knocking on their skin and listening as if they could overhear a conversation among the pits. I’ve grown accustomed to the unknowing. It reminds me of something close at hand.

I’ve been watching it for the past six days. I pick it up and feel for? For what, I don’t know. This morning, I spoke to it. Are you ripe and ready? I think I heard a high pitch beep but that may have been a garbage truck backing up. What the hell, I bought it last Thursday. If I wait another day I may have missed the propitious moment. Everything in its time.

There are no signifiers. No bag of waters breaking. No contractions at short intervals. Every birth is Cesarean. So now I am making my incision straight down the mid-sagittal line to eventually create perfect quadrants….as if the judge from Uzbekistan is scrutinizing my grip for Olympian gold.

One nation indivisible, we pledged and we were when I spoke those words during WW II. Today we are a divisible zig-zag, as is this fractious globe, subject to a thousand cuts.

I would grant this honeydew an 8.7. I think it was a day away from sublimity. I wonder if melons rate us on a scale ranging from feckless to reckless. He who hesitates gets mush. He who rushes gets a sort of potato.

With a little bit of luck, our lifespan peaks when the world is ripening. By that schedule I should have checked out ten years ago or maybe hang around for another ten.

In honeydew talk I would hope for the pulpy flesh, lunar-luscious, in its prime as it reaches its upward slope when it sings, no zings, as if summoning Orpheus with his lute in the lost language of melon.

 

Unforgetting

I promised myself I wouldn’t do this. But I cannot let the anniversary of the last days of Peggy’s life go unnoted. I celebrated her birthday on May 2^nd and now I find myself commemorating the way she lived her dying four years ago. She lived 100 years plus 100 days.

Over our forty years together, Peggy and I created a soil in which our love watered and sunned a garden. I find myself imbued with that love as I embrace my remaining years. When she died, grief felt to me like self-pity. Instead, I celebrate the gift she bequeathed. When I go, she said of my future, go for it. I have.

While under hospice care she continued to write poetry until a week before the end on August t5, 2021. She faced the east window and communed with a hummingbird while singing along with the Irish folk group, Celtic Thunder. Below are excerpts of poems she wrote leading up to her death. All are taken from her chap book, Two Is A Sacred Number.*

I’ve taken some liberties with the lines I chose. I have conflated the overwhelming love she radiated with her embrace of the ultimate unknown. Both love and dying, I believe, are aspects of letting go, a mysterious transport.

 

A love that springs from nothingness, with opulence expanding,

To welcome each day in the flourish of this enormity,

our constant wedding.

Love has its own arithmetic,

Knows only how to increase.

 

From this window, larger than these years

you bring me vessels for the insistence of green.

Through your eyes I see rivers to remind us

what keeps moving, fluid as bodies.

You have traveled me here, out of a thirsty night

through advancing dark, into a moist

and sudden incandescence.

Love flares from its invisible yes.

 

Flesh answers more than desire

I/you forget to be old.

A Mozart rondo filling me with now.

 

Through the crack in the bedroom wall,

Green mystery makes its way.

When you enter among monarch butterflies

what I see comes to this:

The tree-lit park, touch of silk

The taste of tangerines.

 

Where we have traveled has carried me home.

I find my way to the orange sunrise

Even at the ebb of my long life.

* Peggy wrote under her maiden name, Peggy Aylsworth. Her poetry books are available from Amazon.

The Revolutionary Macaroni

Some words travel well and tell a slice of history in their migration. Take macaroni, for instance.

Yankee Doodle went to town / riding on a pony / stuck a feather in his cap / and called it macaroni.

We sing this song signifying patriotism. Yet I doubt many Americans have the slightest idea what they are singing about. Hint: it has nothing to do with pasta.

In the early 1700s, a macaroni was a word the Brits used to describe a well-traveled, sophisticated man. It then morphed into an effeminate male, foppish in his fashion.

By the time of the French & Indian war, circa 1760, the macaroni flipped again. It suddenly became a term of ridicule designating a country bumpkin trying too hard to look like a gentleman, thus meant to mock the American colonist.

In fact, it was sung in derision for the lowly rebel who thought he could stick a feather in his cap and call himself a dandy, a macaroni. Note that he rode a pony, not a horse. A doodle is a simpleton. And what, I hear you ask, is a Yankee?

The original Dutch settlers were the subjects of derision again by those nasty invaders from England. The Englishmen (John Bull) called those from the Netherlands, (Jan Kees), hence Yankees. Seems like everybody had names for the other. So much for the nonsense of national identity.

By the time of the Revolutionary War, the entire song was stood on its head. The tune of King George’s bad guys was adapted by us, the good guys, and suddenly it became a symbol of patriotism. When the Red Coats surrendered at Yorktown, Washington had his army band strike up a rendition of Yankee Doodle.

It was as if the entire war was fought over who owned Yankee Doodle. Or, as I’d like to think, it was a triumph of the common man. My other takeaway is how gusts of new consciousness move language and carry the seeds for revolutionary change. Keep your eyes on the MAGA macaroni.

  

Public Square

They have tables and they have chairs. We sit under our favorite ash tree and chew on big and small ideas over lunch. On weekdays my friends and I often gather in this public courtyard and order a choice of salad, pasta or pizza to-go for $9.00. The venue is Il Forno Restaurant on Ocean Park Blvd and 29^th St. It’s the best kept secret in Santa Monica.

I suggest that Zelensky and Putin meet here and end the carnage in Ukraine. BYOB, bring your own borscht. Let them first have a food fight if they must and then settle in and save their people from further bloodshed and displacement. Nothing ever happens on an empty stomach, so go ahead, Vladamir and Volodymyr, keep eating. Share your salad and pasta. Nobody's looking. 

On another table Bibi, Trump and the Ayatollah could spring for falafel and then get real. After hostages are freed, Gaza can be declared a demilitarized free city with open access and reconstruction. Let them admit their shame as pasta slides off their forks. Then the three of them can start writing their Nobel Peace Prize joint acceptance speech.  

The tables are round, great for conversation. We huddle and think great thoughts. Basil expounds on pre-history and intergalactic speculations. Dean offers his views on Erasmus’s advocacy for humanism as opposed to Martin Luther. I sit in awe of my learned friends, busy contemplating the arrangement of broccoli and peppers on my vegetarian pizza.

There is much to be said for a public square. It wouldn't hurt if speakers on phones were banned as a courtesy. It is hard to find such a space without going to the park and dealing with picnics and flying frisbees. 

But for civil discourse on the meaning of life in a godless universe and other light subjects, nothing beats my courtyard on Ocean Park Blvd. where revolutionary plots can be hatched at the drop of Caesar salad, and you can't beat the price.

Off to the side, I spotted a rather stout man giggling under a bodhi tree. But that may have been an apparition.

 

Dick, Hank and Donald

The reign of Donald the 1^st has me thinking how he will be regarded by future writers and even those in our midst, when normalcy is restored.

This led me back to Richard the 3^rd, and how he was maligned by Shakespeare, writing in the service of Elizabeth, the reigning Tudor of the day. Dick was deposed by Hank, the 7^th, father of the next Henry whose depravity we can’t seem to get enough of.

This is the way it goes with a monarch. Fawning sycophants blowing sweet nothings into his ear until they stumble and lose their heads. It then takes someone like the Bard to set in stone the deviltry of his patron’s predecessor.

While Hank-8 is buried at Windsor Castle, Dick-3 rotted in Potter’s Field for five centuries and then got paved over as a parking lot. His skeletal remains were exhumed a few years ago and revealed a counter narrative to the one Will Shakespeare spun.

No twisted, withered arm, his back less hunched or humped into a mountain as Shakespeare had it, and no unequal, limping legs. More importantly, Richard III allowed for petitions of the poor and set up legal aid for them in a Court of Requests, later abolished by his successor, Henry VII. He protected merchants by prohibiting the importation of goods from abroad, exempting books which he encouraged for the people. Laws, henceforth, would be written in the common tongue.

Conversely, one wonders how the mountain of retrogressive acts by Donald will be remembered. Will Trump, the man-child,  become a dynasty like the Tudors? Yahweh forbid. 

16th and 17th century media in the hands of great pens could move minds just as Fox News and social media does today. Even in the 19th century Charles Dickens' Tale of Two Cities became the accepted version of the French revolution. 

I probably won't be around to have my question answered. My guess is it will take a generation or more to repair the damage done to the fabric of this once great nation. Even worse, Donald's push for fossil fuels and callous indifference toward the degradation of our environment may doom the planet irreparably. 

I expect there will be dozens of poets, essayists, playwrights and novelists eager to unravel Donald's gibberish and translate his jejune vocabulary to adult language. The challenge is to grasp the full extent of his appeal, where it came from, what sustains it and how a country embraced spectacle over substance, nescience over research, and how indecency, malice and incoherence became a virtue.  

I seem to have written myself to a summer / winter of my discontent. I allow this to happen on Tuesdays and Thursday. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday I convince myself that sane voices will prevail and on weekends I let the miracle of life wash over me and plan my afterlife. As Jimmy Durante used to say, Let me hear dat trumpet. Dat's no trumpet. Dat's no trumpet. Dat's a trumpet. 

 

Friends

As our country grows more unrecognizable each day, friends are poring over maps considering spots to relocate, at least till we collectively come to our senses. I expect to stay put and ponder about leaving this world for the next one. Do you mean there is no next one? In that case I’ll check out Emily’s List for an ice floe and be done with it. 

This brought to mind phone calls from a couple of my dear-departed but wacko friends a while back. She left a message on my answering machine: Sorry I missed you but maybe you’re not back yet from Mexico. Hope you are having a good time in San Miguel Allende. I thought to myself: Did I forget to go to Mexico the way some folks forget to have children? Maybe I should hop a flight and look for the expat community. 

When she reached me, she apologized saying she was thinking of somebody else who went to Hawaii. This is the way it works with octo and nonagenarians. I told her I couldn’t make it to Mexico but I’d been drinking margaritas to make up for it. I was glad not to have gone to Hawaii since I have a profound dislike for all things coconut. 

She said she was sorry to hear about my allergy to peanuts. I was also sorry to hear about it since I’d just had some peanut sauce with Chinese food. Was my body beginning to itch all over or was that a reaction from the coconuts I didn’t eat by not going to Hawaii? At least I didn’t have jet lag. 

I thanked her for saving me a visit to the dermatologist as well as an intestinal disorder from suspicious lettuce where I might have perished from dehydration in an emergency room, an unclaimed body with a tag on my toe. 

We need friends like this in our twilight years to check up on us as our diminishing memory turns into galloping senility and other childhood diseases. The phone is ringing again. This time from a friend who started telling me about the time he set fire to the shower curtains while his mother was taking a bath. He was seven and apparently a very curious boy. I didn’t ask when he was weaned from the breast. It was 1934 and times were tough. I’m sure this is not why he called but I forgave him his trespasses. How we segued to this defining moment neither of us could recall. That’s how life works. The chronology turns to mush. 

How I ever got to my ninety-third year when just yesterday I was eleven can only be explained by missing a plane to Mexico because of the skin rash I didn’t get from not eating Chinese food in the bathtub with burned coconuts or was it caramelized walnuts?

Even as the specter of a dictatorship looms large, I plan on living out my shelf-life blabbering in blissful incoherence. Flights of imagination will be my letters of transit out of this world.