The Autobiography of My Name

There we are fresh from that embryonic sea with no say in the matter and they name us.

Am I my name?  Yes, I must own it. No, I also disown it.

Norman contains No and Nor which I accept as a card-carrying contrarian. Sometimes I don’t disagree so much as I want more, of which I can claim 3 letters. Other times I don't even agree with myself.

I shiver and shun when I hear Normal. In my college days the word normal caused a brief panic. The term was often used in chemistry to describe a certain molecular state of solutions or a string of carbon atoms. I always thought I was being called upon with that first syllable.

There is also a yes/no in the common usage of the word normal. Early on, I probably wanted to be normal even though I knew I was dropped to earth by a spaceship. The word seemed elusive, and I doubt I was ever admitted, thankfully, into the normalcy club. Somewhere along the way abnormalcy seemed a better fit. 

Whether I am or not is relative. Too bourgeois for punk rock, too much otherness for any prescribed behavior. Being odd is being individuated. On the spectrum between Norman Rockwell and Norman Mailer? Maybe but I only know I am who I am and I ain't who I ain't. *

And then there’s the heritage of my name. I owe it to those warriors from Denmark and Norway who settled in Northern France and then saw no reason not to invade England in 1066. William the Conqueror crossed the channel with ten thousand of his closest friends. Hence the Norman Conquest which joined the romance language with the Saxon.

Though my nominal ancestors were Norsemen, fierce, bellicose, plunderers. (everyone needs a hobby), those traits are missing from my double helix. The last thing I plundered was my piggybank 85 years ago and my most recent conquest was a poke salad with some fresh tuna.

My guess is that my name was chosen by my parents as a way of disidentifying with the so-called Old World of Eastern Europe driven by the urge toward assimilation. It was to be nothing biblical. No matter what I may think of Norman, it's better than Nebuchadnezzar.

I’ve come to embrace my name as I’ve grown fond of myself, even as I stumble and bumble along. I just noticed that my name is embedded in the word enormous. It must be from the milk of kindness which flows, by the quart, in every vein. **

* John Prine

** Alan Jay Lerner