Triggering Town

I’m an old cowhand. Like Cooper or Eastwood, a man of few words. And right now even fewer thoughts. The well’s gone dry in my ghost town.

The general store’s boarded up. Yup. The last brawl emptied the saloon. I say set em up Joe but Joe ducked and never came up. The chorus girls left on the last stage out of town with the school marm and preacher. It’s so quiet you can almost here the g’s droppin. Even the posse’s gone chasin the sheriff and his side kick. The card shark’s got nothin but arm up his sleeve.

But this is a triggering town for blocked writers. Wet pencils lookin for words to say what folks say when they’ve got nothin to say.

There goes a tumbleweed scootin down to the old corral. Could be a few nuggets in the dust. Now the air is stirrin. I hear somethin rustlin that ain’t cattle. Could be crickets tunin up but sounds more like the piano beginnin to roll. Darlin Lil is kickin high and showin her garter.

Lightnin just split the hangin tree. Slim Pickens swallowed his toothpick. A new lore & oughta marshal is hitchin up his horse. His gun is cocked over his longjohns. He polishes his silver; gives us all a nod, by God.

The clean-cut good guys are showin gristle and the grizzly bad guys got themselves shaved clean. There’s Tonto telling his side of the storyat Kimosabe College The un-masked Ranger is cleaning his erasers. Doc Harvey, the barber’s doing surgery now, pulls teeth too.

Diamond Jim, the railroad baron, grabbed one too many and took a bullet in his wallet. His ranch got foreclosed in an open and shut case.

Andy Devine’s teaching bible school with Gabby Hayes. Buffalo Bill’s gone vegan. Three amigos are hirin to pick the cactus crop across the border. Prospectors are on their hands and knees panning for g’s as in gold.

The 9:45 from Yuma just pulled in with a fistful of lawless words. Here come the outlaws from central casting, spitting and cussing looking for work in Hollywood Westerns. It’s all over and it’s just begun.

I head over to the telegraph office to send a message shot straight from the hip.. Got me some wagging tongues….stop….. characters wanted….stop… dead or alive.