Monsoonal Air

Here it is again…sticky, sultry air so thick you could climb it. It slinked across the border undocumented, heedless of maps. Up from Sonora and Baja with its illegal water vapor. Better build that wall soon to keep us safe from the rapist, drug-laden dust which will contaminate our frozen yogurt shops and slip through the gated mansions.

I’m reminded of New York summers riding the subway, getting stuck to the straw seats. Ballgames threatened with rainchecks. Thunderstorms in the forecast. The smell of summer showers on hot sidewalks. Fire hydrants open with kids in sun suits splashing. Grasshoppers in the afternoon and fireflies at night caught in an empty mayonnaise jar poked with holes.

Those Julys and Augusts are all in the memory bank…and they can stay there. I’m done with high humidity, so I thought. If this keeps up we march on City Hall. There must be a law or ordinance. We don’t sweat here, do we?

But wait, this morning’s paper tells about Sahara particles feeding the Amazon rain forest and eventually carried by winds up to Yosemite. In fact those nutrients form the park’s grassland. Does Donald know about these incursions? It must be those liberal gusts with no regard for national sovereignty.

Next we’ll find out that America First, which means America Alone, is phony baloney and that the hoax of climate change is not fake at all…even in red states. And all this time I thought global warming was due to those Congressional swamps and the hot air coming out of the White House sufficient to melt a big chunk of Antarctica which might someday be found floating down the Potomac.