Friends

What would we do without them, particularly those of us without cousins by the dozens or even a crazy uncle in the attic? I am blessed with a small legion of friends in spite of the loss of Roger and Ralph and Tony and Ernie in recent years. And then there were two Ruths, Rene, Dick, Lily, Barbara and two Judys. I need them all to laugh at my jokes over Chinese chicken salad or challenge  my unshakeable beliefs. I haven’t had a good food-fight in a long time. Soon there won’t be anyone left for my eulogy.

I’ve made two new friends this year. Last week I loaded my trunk with several trash bags and drove around the corner to the respective receptacles. (This is what happens when one is no longer young). I got out of my car and was looked upon suspiciously by a man as if I might be a serial-killer dumping a few body parts. I immediately told him I’ve been living here for thirty-seven years. He then said he’s been living here for thirty-eight years. One-up’d again. We introduced ourselves and traded stories. Amazing how we’d never met even in the laundry room.

A couple of months ago I backed out of Fromin’s Deli parking lot into a car already on his way out. My bad. A dent in his Lexus. We exchanged info and in the course of conversation we found ourselves to be kindred spirits. There’s more to this story I won’t relate. If it were submitted to the New Yorker the manuscript would have been crumpled up and thrown across the room into the garbage pail. (This might have been how basketball was invented.) I do not recommend nicking cars as a way of making new friends.

As a kid I had four close friends. I never understood why Stanley liked Frank but disliked Peter. Johnny put up with Frank and didn’t really know Stan but ignored Peter. Come to think of it, nobody liked Peter. Things equal to the same thing are not necessarily equal to each other.

About 25 years ago Peggy and I thought it would be fun to arrange for a mystery guest to join us to celebrate each of our birthdays. The friends we choose were distant or from long ago, not in our inner circle. After a year or two we realized why we weren't close anymore. Besides, why ruin a birthday with a third party?

I thank Peggy for bequeathing me most of my friends or maybe we did it together. I can’t remember. But thanks for hanging around, all of you. I was going to name you. I counted forty and that doesn't include the man who waters the lettuce. Is that possible? Yes, it is. If I left you out, raise your hand. Maybe it’s easier to list the people I don’t know but may yet meet at the trash bin.