Dear Mrs. Trump,
I’m so sorry you and Mr. Trump couldn’t make it to
open-school night. As Donald’s kindergarten teacher I wanted to reach out to
you regarding your little boy’s behavior.
Perhaps you are not aware of some disturbing issues
which have come to my attention ranging from knocking down classmate’s building
blocks to verbal abuse to apparent embezzlement of money as milk monitor.
When one of the new boys wet his pants it was unkind
and disruptive for Donald to berate him in front of the class particularly as
the child was a refugee from war-torn Poland having witnessed the extermination
of his family. Nor was it gracious of Donald to ridicule his cerebral palsy
classmate for failing to stand for the national anthem and calling him a loser.
Your son’s habit of running with scissors is also a
menace to the health and safety of our otherwise well-behaved group of
five-year olds. Evidently he does not believe that rules of decency and civil
conduct apply to himself.
I feel an intervention is necessary at this early
stage to remedy the situation before it becomes irreversible and I urge your
immediate attention.
Respectfully,
Miss B.H. Lieberthal
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Dear Miss Bleeding Heart Liberal,
My husband and I do not appreciate your fake
assessment of our son. What you cite as irregular behavior we regard as strength
of character displaying leadership qualities. May I remind you that my husband
sits on the board of this private institution and you serve at his pleasure?
Our boy, Donald, is by
all accounts a gifted child far ahead of his fellow students with whom he is
greatly esteemed. He may, in fact, be the smartest child to have ever entered
your class. This was amply demonstrated when he parlayed the milk money into an
investment fund paying twenty percent interest…until it went bankrupt due to
excessive government regulations.
Truly,
Mrs. D. Trump
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To Whom It May Concern,
Be assured I do not plan any legal action against the
school or its board of directors for my precipitous removal with neither cause,
warning nor severance pay.
I am now well situated in my new position helping
troubled children with full parental participation. My experience in the
classroom served as a cautionary note for early detection of aberrant behavior though
I doubt little Donald will be able to mature into a good citizen without prompt
remedial action.
Respectfully,
B.H. Lieberthal
Brilliant!!!
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