Me: Nobody and my friends are nobodys also.
Me: Can I call you, Louie?
Mayer: Call me L.B.
Mayer: Don’t waste my time. I’m a busy man. What have you got?
Me: I have this script about a raving sociopath who takes over the country.
Mayer: What is it, a horror movie? Bela Lugosi?
Me: More of a tragi-comedy, no strike that. It ain’t funny.
Mayer: So what have we got here?
Me: He is elected President
Mayer: I haven’t got time for this. You say a crazy guy wins the election?
Me: Right, it's sort of a sci-fi movie
Me: I can see Orson Welles dumbed down.
Mayer: You mean Citizen Kane meets some lunatic?
Me: More like P.T. Barnum meets Charlie McCarthy meets Al Capone
Mayer: Capone? We can use George Raft.
Me: No, he’s more than a gangster, he barks like Edward G. Robinson.
Mayer; Sounds like a musical comedy. it’s over-budget already.
Me: Listen to me, L.B., you only need one actor and a mob.
Mayer A mob? Get me Frank Capra on line one.
Me: You’ll never regret it. You can use a lot of out-of-work extras.
Mayer: Sounds like a cast of thousands. Bring in DeMille.
Me; More like a zany madcap romp.
Mayer: Get me Preston Sturgis.
Mayer; It may play in the heartland but not in the Brown Derby or Stork Club.
Me: It will be a blockbuster. Everyman gone berserk. Hitler will be envious.
Mayer: What about the ending? It has to be happy.
Me: Trust me, L.B. we’ll have him either in handcuffs or a straight-jacket……or both. Or at least a long shot of a guy in an orange jumpsuit picking up trash from a homeless encampment.
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