Friday, August 26, 2011
Peeves and Gripes
Showers with little water pressure…most often found in B&Bs or motels where they leave the light on for you…..or in my bathroom. I want water with conviction, with needles.
Movies which all critics loved; my friends can’t stop praising, Peggy is crazy about. I was bored, irritated. Maybe I didn’t get it. Maybe I got it and still…
Politicians who side-step good questions and do it so well. Do members of both parties go to some secret night school in the sub-basement to learn how not to answer directly and spend two minutes doing it?
Stains that don’t come out with dry cleaning; in fact they are now permanently set because you, like a dummy, didn’t just wash the damn thing.
V-neck undershirts that aren’t V-necked enough so that a diagonal of white shows beneath your black shirt.
Waiters in Italian restaurants who are probably from Brooklyn but took a course to learn how to speak with an Italian accent.
The person entering his car in slow motion in a parking garage backing up 11 other well-intentioned cars….like mine
Cantaloupe which look ready from without but taste unripe within. Peachy looking peaches which are mealy. Tasteless tomatoes.
Firecrackers still going off at midnight on July 6th.
Movie songs which have had their melody carefully removed…if they ever had one.
Sunday morning panel discussions in which both parties have their talking points and dispatch themselves on every channel saying the same thing.
Ballgames I record decided in the final two minutes beyond the recorded time.
Laugh-tracks. Unfunny stand-up comics. Comedians who can’t get over how funny they are. Old jokes told badly. Bad jokes told well. Nostalgia told over and over……….unless it’s my own; even my own; particularly my own.
Baseball players who spit. Do they do this at home, too?
Bloggers with nothing to say except complaints…….